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Peace: How did that happen?

Wow!  It has been a while since I posted.  Sorry about that.  Life!  (As my friend Christy says all moms have a crazy busy life.)  And the “snow days” definitely put a wrinkle in my schedule.  A good wrinkle but a wrinkle none the less.  Anyhoo, enough with the apologies.

My latest parenting “issue” is with my three-year old who informed me that “girls don’t work; only boys do.”  How on earth did that happen?  I have a job, I work.   She is, in fact, surrounded by working women.  Her doctor is a woman.  Her teachers are women.   Where is she getting this?  Is Dora a bad influence?

I adamantly told her that was not true.  I told her that mommy works.  I told her that Doctor Ashley works.  For days and days I pointed out every working woman we passed on the street.  Of course, she is over it.  But I am still flabbergasted by the comment.  My chin is still dragging on the floor.  How does this happen?   Advice please!

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: It is TOO quiet

It is too quiet.  The only noises I hear are the washer and dryer.  Lauren is at school.  Julia is napping.

It is weird.  For years and years, it was always quiet in my house.  I’m not much of a TV person (I’m a reader) and so I’ve always had a quiet house. 

And then I got married (to a TV person), and had two kids.  Now it is never quiet.  And now when I have quiet, I can’t stand it.

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: Enough Said

As I mentioned in my previous post, this is a crazy week for me … so much so I had to call in reinforcements (aka my mother) but I wanted to post before the craziness begins and I came across this post that, in my opinion, says it all –

If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.  Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: No Vacation or Retirement for Mothers

Unfortunately/Fortunately (depends on how you look at it) I had come to the realization that there would be no vacation from motherhood.  I am not sure when I first came to this realization but I now treat it as fact.

I remember my first “vacation” with the kids.  It wasn’t really a vacation.  I did not rest.  I did not sleep-in.  I did not nap on the beach.  I parented in a better location.

I also remember my first trip away from the wee ones.  It wasn’t a vacation either.  I worried, I fretted, I called, and I stressed.  I parented from location.

I have now come to realize that there will be no retirement either.  I am almost 38 years old and my mother is going to come into town on Saturday to mother me.  Without going into the details, suffice it to say, I need someone to take care of me while my husband takes care of the wee ones. 

I am sure that this has dawned on mothers wiser than me — but it just dawned on me.  But looking back, I see now that my mother has never stopped mothering me.  She has mothered/guided me on every aspect of my adult life too – where to go to college, whether and where to go to law school, whether to get married, when to have children (always knew I’d be a mommy), and how to best parent.  She has also been there for every momentous occasion of my life too – graduation from college, law school, my wedding, and the birth of both babies.  So I guess this mothering thing isn’t such a bad calling …

Motherhood is a blessing. Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: Trials and Tribulations of Friendship

Ahh!  Friendships!  A necessary and important part of everyone’s lives.  However, even at almost 38 they are difficult to maneuver.  Friendships are constantly evolving. Friendships take patience and understanding. There is also a lot of trust, respect, and forgiveness involved. 

But how do you explain this to a three-year-old?  Lauren has a really good friend that she goes to school with, plays with, etc.  They had a simple misunderstanding yesterday which hurt Lauren’s feelings causing her to cry.  (Of course, whenever Lauren cries a bit of my heart breaks.)  There was no “blame” involved.  They both are preschoolers who were only seeing the world from their own perspectives.  (But don’t we all!).  And I think Lauren was tired from a long day at school and probably would have ended up crying over something … (In fact, within an hour she was crying because I only let her watch one episode of Dora – (I am a very mean mommy!).)

Misunderstandings and hurt feelings happen in all friendships.  I have yet to have a friend who hasn’t inadvertently hurt my feelings.  There is no way anyone could ever know all my insecurities, worries, and the like and not hit on one or two every so often.  But obviously, I have to realize that there was no intent to hurt my feelings and I need to “suck it up” and move on.  But again, how do you explain that to a three-year-old.

I tried my best yesterday to explain giving someone the “benefit of the doubt,” and trusting that they didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. 

Truth be told, I also needed to explain to her that she was being a bit “hyper-sensitive” but she was already in a sensitive mood and again how do you explain that to a three-year-old?

I talked to my mom and asked her what you are supposed to do.  She suggested simply letting them work it out and trust that Lauren is learning how to be a friend.  Good advice.  Hard to do!

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: Night Terrors

One of the few exercise classes I can tolerate is spin class.  And last Monday night I resolved to attend the 5:45 a.m. (YES 5:45 in the morning) class on Tuesday morning.  So why is it that as soon as you decide to do something; it becomes a sleepless night?  Well that is exactly what happened to me. 

Poor Julia had what I am guessing was a night terror.  Her eyes were open but she was screaming and thrashing about.  Absolutely nothing I could do to soothe her.  It was horrible.  She and I were both crying! 

The Baby Center website states that:  “Night terrors occur in at least 5 percent of young children, and can start as early as 9 months. These mysterious disturbances happen during deep, non-dreaming sleep. A child in this state will cry, whimper, flail, and even bolt out of bed. Though his eyes may be wide open, he’s not awake and isn’t aware of your presence. Once the night terror (which can last anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour or more) is over, your child will return to a sound sleep and have no memory of the incident in the morning.”  See:  http://www.babycenter.com/0_night-terrors_142.bc

It is Thursday and I am still in distress.  Has this happened to any of you?

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: Bit Rambled Today

Remember the cartoon Chilly Willy?  For those of you who don’t (again I think I am dating myself!)  Chilly Willy was a cartoon featuring an Alaskan penguin that spent his days trying to keep warm.  I think that is an apt description of my week.  I have done everything in my power to keep my family warm.  (I am a bit worried about the upcoming heating bill!)  We layered, we stayed indoors, and we ate warm food.  (Although, we did make one trek out for frozen yogurt! Can’t help myself I have a sweet tooth!)

As I mentioned before, we recently purchased a crock pot.  I made Mexican casserole (bit on the boring side) and chicken cacciatore.  So here is the thing… it makes SO MUCH FOOD.  While there are four of us… really there are only two adults, one three year old, and one one year old.  I figure that is 2 three-fourths people eating (3-year old = ½  & 1-year old = ¼ )  So what are you supposed to do with all that food?  We ate the Mexican casserole for two nights – once as the original casserole, and the next as the insides of burritos.  The chicken cacciatore will be eaten for two nights … but even still I have so much food.  (I am not big on freezing because I – irrationally – always think it tastes funny.)  Can you reduce the recipe?  What have others done?

On to other topics.  The withholding of Lauren’s nap seems to be working.  She is going to bed with minimal fuss and is still waking about 7:00 a.m. so I feel good about it.  Of course, I miss the two hours of quiet in the middle of my day.  However, I would much rather have an easier bedtime routine …

I don’t think I’ve mentioned my New Year’s Resolutions yet.  Some are uber-personal but in general I have the generic goal to be “healthier” but in moderation.  For example, I am officially no longer going to do the Little Rock Marathon; instead I intend to train for the half-marathon.  My almost 38 year old self just can’t seem to get enough core runs in during the week to sufficiently train for the marathon without literally killing myself.  And there is no way a marathon can be considered a “moderate” health goal.  Thus, I’ve also decided to drink more water and less soda.  So I am allotting myself one soda a day (except, of course, in emergencies – hello! I have two wee ones!) and will try to have at least five glasses of water.  I know the goal should be 8 but let’s face it… that is a feat in of itself.  So I figure 5 is better than the 2 or 3 I had been drinking!  I also intend to go to the gym a little more often!  And as soon as the weather becomes more manageable I am planning to get some exercise by taking the wees to the park at least 2 or 3 afternoons a week.  I figure it is not too early to get the wees in an “exercise” routine.  Thanks for letting me write these goals down; my thought is then I may be more accountable to my goals.

Sorry if the blog was a bit rambled today; that is how my brain is working today.  Maybe things will be better tomorrow.  But maybe not?

Stay Warm.

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: The Original Slow Cooker

Yikes!  It was 18 degrees when I drove home from the gym this morning.  (Yes, the gym!  I took the month of December off and let me tell you I felt it today.  I had to walk out of the class a half-a-dozen times to “check on the baby” (catch my breath).)

I am a California girl.  I can’t help it.  I didn’t own a winter coat until I moved to Washington, DC when I was 31. 

So with the weather forecast predicting highs in the 20s and more snow … I am thinking it is going to be an “in the house” kinda week.  Truth be told, we’ve been in the house now for a few weeks.  We had family in for the holidays so we hung out at home most of the time.  I have a bit of cabin-fever already – so I think it is going to be a long week. 

Anyhow, I figured I’d get out my brand-spanking new crockpot!  Yes, hubs got me a crockpot for Christmas (don’t blame him – I wanted one!).  (And don’t get me started on my new Shark steam cleaner – hello!  So CLEAN (yes, I am a bit type-A))  For the past few years, I had been borrowing my father-in-laws avocado green crock pot (mid-70s version I believe).  I thought he might say:  “no, you keep it.”  But he never did.  Perhaps he does quite a bit of slow-cooking that I am unaware of.  But I digress.  I figure I’m going to make the house smell fabulous if we are going to be “stuck” inside all week.  (Or perhaps, I should go another route – Glade Plug Ins?)

But I need help with recipes.  I am trying a Mexican casserole tonight (chicken, black beans, can of salsa, a corn to be served over rice – sounds yummy).  The handy recipe book that came with my brand-spanking new crockpot has an interesting recipe for Chicken Cacciatore.  But they are not “known” recipes.  Does anyone have any great tried-and-true recipes for slow cooking? 

Since yesterday was a snow day, I didn’t get any work done.  So I better get cracking … there is likely a boring legal assignment with my name on it.  (If my boss is reading this, a fabulous and interesting assignment!)

P.S.  I think Lauren (3 years, 2 months) will be giving up her naps.  She won’t go to sleep before 10 p.m. (she’s in bed by 8 p.m. but has been “playing/reading” until 10 p.m.) and is waking at 6 a.m.  So I think I will be withholding naptime.  Wish me luck.

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

First, an apology:  I am so sorry that I haven’t blogged in a while.  I had the best intentions.  I had good ideas.  I had things to say.  I had stories to tell.  What I didn’t have was time.  And to be quite honest, I was having too good of a time to drag myself away from family, friends, cooking, and activities to hole up in my office and write about it.

Of course, all the good ideas, things to say, stories to tell are:  nowhere to be seen.

All I can say is WHEW!  It was like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride at Disneyland.  (Side note:  Did you know that Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride was retired in 1998?  All that remains is a Mr. Toad statute in the cemetery in front of the Haunted Mansion!!)  It was crazy.  It was wild.  But it was all Smiles.  We started our Christmas “ride” with a Christmas Eve “Mass” – known as the “Children’s Mass” – and a delicious Christmas Eve dinner – turkey and all the trimming.  We did let Lauren open one gift before she went off to sleep, and Santa came to visit. 

While the “children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plus danced in their heads.  And mama in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,” Santa Arrived at the Halter Household.  And Santa was a busy man (clearly had a smart and loving elf helping him).  He unpackaged all of the toys (creating over two bags of trash – hello, can we say there is a need for Green Packaging?), stuffed stockings, and arranged toys.  Santa and his elf were TIRED!

Ninety-nine percent of mornings, we can’t get Lauren or Julia to sleep past 7:00 a.m.  We laugh that the girls must have alarm clocks built in.  They literally wake up within minutes of each other and somewhere between 7:00 a.m. and 7:01 a.m.  (Truth be told, Lauren’s flat-out run, while screaming “Good Morning Julia,” into Julia’s room every morning might have something to do with Julia waking at 7:00 a.m. every morning.  But we can’t prove it!!)  So what are the chances that Lauren sleeps in on Christmas morning? Seriously, the baby was up at 7:02 a.m. and we had to keep her out of the family room (or she’d see Santa had arrived), and Lauren was sawing logs upstairs.  Finally, around 8:00 a.m. little Lauren came down stairs and Lauren and Julia could go into the family room.  Julia upon seeing what Santa had brought said it all:  She simply broke out in applause. 

Christmas with wee ones is beyond magical.  I truly have never enjoyed Christmas as much as I have as a parent.  And I LOVED Christmas as a child.  It is simply magical.

But I am TIRED.  (I would say pooped but it is a bad word in Lauren’s world!)

I know the season isn’t officially “over” – New Years Eve isn’t until Thursday night – but I definitely have the post-Christmas let-down.  I haven’t started to tear down the decorations, but I want to!  I keep telling myself I should at least wait until our out of town guests have left.  It seems unseemly to start putting stuff away – basically ending the party – while your guests are still eating pumpkin pie on the couch.  Thus, I think I can hold out until 2010! 

So what is everyone doing for New Years Eve?  Babysitters are nowhere to be seen (Or cost a fortune).  The wee ones go to sleep at 8:00 p.m..  Do you try to stay awake?  Or do you simply give up the fight?  Looking for stories! Ideas?

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.

Peace: Christmas Movies

As I have mentioned before, I was born and raised in California.  Fortunately, I have grown deep roots here in Arkansas.  However, before I moved to Arkansas I lived in Washington, DC for three years.  I have a special place in my heart for Washington, DC and the friends I made there. 

Washington, DC is about to be buried by what forecasters are predicting to be the largest snowfall to hit the area in six years and the greatest December accumulation in over 70 years. 

So this is where I have mixed feelings for my friends.  On the one hand, how fun –to be snowed in, have a fire in the fireplace, and watch Christmas movie after Christmas movie.  Who wouldn’t love that on Christmas? On the other hand, yikes what if you’re supposed to be flying “home” to see family?  And you spend all day at airports, train stations, or worse.  Who wouldn’t hate that on Christmas?

It’s like a movie.  Have you ever notice that so many Christmas movies have been made of people trying to get home after being delayed by weather:   Planes Trains and Automobiles, Four Christmases, and of course, Home Alone. 

                Ahh Christmas movies, is there anything better?  I love all Christmas movies (even the sappy Lifetime Christmas movies).  My personal favorites:  Polar Express, It’s a Wonderful Life, the Santa Clause, Love Actually, Miracle on 34^th Street, and my absolute favorite the Christmas Story (Ralphie:  “I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!”  Mom:  “No, you’ll shoot your eye out.”) 

                What are your favorite Christmas movies?

P.S.  Happy Birthday to my mom!!

Motherhood is a blessing.  Motherhood is rewarding.  Motherhood requires peace.